Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg

Do Babies Really Need to be Cared for On Demand or On a Schedule?

Apr 28, 2009
Michelle Carchrae

Newborn Baby - Olga Doroschenkova

Mixed messages and unrealistic expectations of structure, routine and independence for newborns makes Secrets of the Baby Whisperer confusing for parents of newborns.

Brand new parents often find themselves in for a shock when their newborn bundle of joy wakes up and starts crying. In Secrets of the Baby Whisperer [Ballantine Books, 2001], Tracy Hogg promises new parents that with the proper schedule and approach they will be back in control of their lives and their babies in no time. While some parents might find Hogg's approach more appealing than the thought of responding to a newborn's cues whenever they happen around the clock, the truth is that newborns have unique needs and aren't able to respond to a structured routine.

Starting as You Mean to Go on with Your Newborn

Hogg tells parents it is wise to start as you mean to go on, especially when it comes to babies and sleep. This is sound advice for starting a new job or romantic relationship, but when you start caring for a newborn baby, however, an approach that is suitable for a baby at six months of age simply won't work with a newborn. Newborns are not expected to dress themselves or start off eating vegetables, so why should they be expected to wake, sleep, eat and play according to a parent's schedule or in an independent manner? Teaching a baby to fall asleep on his own is useful and appropriate, but not for babies under 4 months old.

Slow Down and Listen to Your Baby

One suggestion Tracy Hogg does make that is good advice for all parents is to slow down and learn how to read your baby's cues. By learning to read baby's physical cues, along with the time of day, environmental circumstances and your own emotions, parents can learn to respond to all of baby's cues with appropriate action. Not every cry means baby needs to be fed and not every cry can be immediately soothed.

Mixed Messages Makes the Baby Whisperer Confusing

If it seems like these two messages highlighted from Secrets of the Baby Whisperer are contradictory, you're right. On one page Hogg admonishes parents for letting their babies set the pace and schedule of their homes, saying that this approach will quickly spiral into hopeless chaos that will damage both baby and parents, and on the other she says that you should learn to distinguish between a hungry cry and a overstimulated cry in order to respond correctly to your baby's needs.

Tracy Hogg is correct when she says that routine is beneficial for a household, but most babies will naturally grow into a routine of regular eating and sleeping times as they enter their third and fourth month of life. Newborns, on the other hand, wake, eat, sleep and eliminate around the clock. Expecting that you can change that by adhering to a routine is unrealistic at best and at worst potentially harmful to a baby if their cries for food and comfort are ignored.

If you want basic baby care information such as directions for giving a baby a bath or baby massage, or you feel you need a stern English nanny to call you "luv" and tell you to get out of your pajamas because it's four in the afternoon, then you might enjoy Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. If you're looking for information on caring for a newborn that is based on science, physiology and the actual needs and abilities of newborns, you'd be better off with What to Expect the First Year [Workman Publishing Company, 2002] or Dr. Sears' The Baby Book [Little, Brown and Company, 1992]. If you like The Baby Whispering approach but need more detailed information about how to use it with your baby, check out Hogg's book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems [Atria, 2005. ISBN-10:0743488938] instead.

Michelle Carchrae - Michelle Carchrae has worked as a Volunteer Phone Counselor at Childline and as a Training Developer and Call Centre Trainer, but the job ...

Comments

Jul 20, 2009 12:26 AM

Guest :

I disagree with your article on Tracy Hogg. Her books are amazing and very clear. We felt confident with the knowledge she gave us, she helped us understand our baby from day one, how he was feeling, what life is like for him, and what we needed to do for him. We know other parents who use her methods and found her brilliant as well. You may need to look at the book again in a different way.

Jul 29, 2009 11:37 PM

Guest :

I compeltly disagree about this review. The books are wonderful (I have all 3). Tracy actually points out over and over again that we have to LISTEN to our baby (and later toddler/child) and that the routine/shedule will change in time as baby grows. And she NEVER sais to ignore your babies cries when she is hungry/tiered/bored etc. That would be a trust breaker

I would strongly suggest you actually read the book, because from what you wrote in your article, I doubt that you have actually read the book - because otherwise you wouldn't write what you did. Sorry luv - but that's the truth.

Aug 6, 2009 8:27 PM

Guest :

I absolutely disagree with this article. You say Tracy says to not respond to your newborn's cues, but the opposite is true. He suggest implementing a routine (where you listen to cues and respond accordingly), but not a schedule(where you would ignore cues)
To not listen to cues is to break the bond of trust between you and your baby. Have you actually read the book? Or even talked to people that have used it? The book is very clear and her website and forum on babywhisperer.com give added support and explanation if needed.
I have never come across a more comprehensive book on taking care of the emotional needs of a baby then this one. If you want a book on taking care of the basics of newborns, like changing diapers and washing a baby, then maybe thee what to expect in the first year is a good one, but it doesn't pales in respect to Tracy's methids on bringing peace into a household.

Aug 8, 2009 10:53 PM

Michelle Carchrae :

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I understand that this book is very popular, and while I did read it I will read the other books as well to try and get a clearer picture of Tracey's approach.

The main element of this book that I found confusing and inappropriate is Tracey telling parents that they need to take charge of how their baby sleeps from day one, avoiding nursing baby to sleep and putting him down as soon as he stops crying instead of soothing him to sleep. This technique might be great for parents of older babies, or very easy "angel" babies, for for parents who have a baby with a high need for contact and/or nursing this approach is going to be very stressful for both baby and parent. Not to mention depriving parents (and babies) the joy of holding a sleeping newborn.

Either you're responding to baby's cries and needs "on demand" around the clock or you're not. If a parent is going to respond to every need no matter what the hour, why stress out about a routine in the first few weeks? There are many months of parenting ahead to worry about a routine.

Sep 21, 2009 7:18 PM

Guest :

I agree with the other reviews. Tracy's book was extremely helpful for us and demystified a lot for us as new parents. She doesn't speak about schedules but rather routines which we all live by one way or another. The book that talks about routine is "Babywise" with which I disagree in its entirety.

Oct 8, 2009 7:58 AM

Guest :

This is my third child and she was the most difficult. I read the third book and it saved my sanity!! Things became clear and worked! I give it away as a baby gift now for newv mom's and all of them have come back to say how much they loved the book, how much it has helped them, and how it was the most useful.

Oct 22, 2009 10:14 AM

Guest :

I fully agree with the article, based mostly on the late Ms. Hogg's television show, which I found painful to watch. On this show we were given a valuable opportunity to see her theory put into practice. My family and I felt that she caused babies much unnecessary pain achieving her results. Despite some valid insights, the hidden motif of her method seemed to be control rather than love. Think about it. Control. Are control and love compatible and to what extent? Do we need to control babies or meet their needs - as difficult as this is to do? How independent can one expect a newborn to be? I would recommend "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff to anyone interested in babies and their happiness. Some might say that the approach taken in that book is is extreme. To which one can only reply: Use common sense.

Dec 18, 2009 4:55 AM

Guest :

I am confused by this article, Tracy Hogg specifically says that a 'routine' involving strict times and deadlines does not work for babies or indeed a mother. Instead, she concentrates on listening to your baby and understanding the natural rhythms that occur. Gina Ford advocates a routine, in my opinion,the Baby Whisperer concentrates on nurturing, respecting and learning from your baby, not immediately assuming that a cry means hunger for example. While it is unrealistic to expect a baby to fall into line, it is also unrealistic to expect a toddler to know right from wrong, however, we do not allow them to reach 8 or 9 before starting to show them the correct way. It is the same with a newborn and sleeping, they need to be taught that there is a difference between night and day in order for their sleep patterns to take form.

Jan 11, 2010 9:50 PM

Guest :

This is a very skewed view of this wonderful book! I don't think the writer really read the book properly, or she would realise that the "routine" suggested by Tracy Hogg is very flexible and you are encouraged to respond to your baby's true needs, not just stick the boob in every time he cries.

Hopefully people don't read this article and get put off because the sanity of many families could be saved if they read it. I RECOMMENT THIS BOOK TO EVERY NEW MUM I MEET.

Feb 19, 2010 9:01 PM

Guest :

I loved this book and so did my husband. One of the few baby books that actually give you tools. It makes sense and is very flexible. Happiest Baby on the Block is also a winner that I highly suggest for new or soon to be parents.

Feb 23, 2010 11:48 AM

Guest :

i completely agree with this review. tracy hogg's book caused me much unnecessary upset during my daughter's earliest months because it was essentially impossible to follow hogg's advice about operating on a schedule. yes, i called it a schedule, even though hogg keeps calling it a 'flexible routine'. yet her book has numerous examples of clock-based schedules, leading me to feel i was failing when my daughter's day looked nothing like that! friends told me to chill and wait for my baby to get older before expecting her days (and nights) to have as much structure as hogg advises, but it took a while for me to get hogg out of my head and trust myself and my baby to figure it out together.

i especially agree with your criticism of the phrase 'begin as you mean to go on'. this is pretty much meaningless when you are dealing with a creature who changes as much and as quickly as a young infant!

Mar 29, 2010 10:13 AM

Guest :

I read Tracy's book in Indonesian translation, my first language. It's enlightening, as long as you can grab the core idea and philosophy. I love this book, my elder sister too. At least there are 4 kids in my family grow up by this book guidance.

We make some necessary modification. Cause it's not just about schedule. Even Tracy said, "You should stop watching the clock as you feed your baby or put her to sleep; it dis-respects her." That's why we never wake up our babies just to meet the schedule. The numbers and figures (you call it schedule) in Tracy's book, I suppose, came from parent's common question, "How long should I...?"; they are not Tracy's.

By applying structured routine since the 4th day of my baby's life, I have a firm base to recognize her growth and development day by day.

Believe me, I'm Asian. I grow in a traditional community and know how a baby led family would live their life; it's frustrating.

I'm so thankful to Tracy, pray a heaven for her spirit even though I hold a different belief (I'm moslem). For Tracy too, I should hold my anger to read such shallow comment on her book, like Michelle Carchrae's.

Jul 2, 2010 2:45 AM

Guest :

I agree with this article. Message in the book is very unclear and confusing.

Nov 1, 2010 5:26 PM

Guest :

I disagree with this review. As a new Mum I had dozens of books thrust at me by well-meaning friends and family, and this was the one that connected with my beliefs that my little baby was a warm breathing human being with needs that I did not yet understand, but needed to learn how to regonise and interpret. This book (along with a few other resources and my own intuition and common sense) gave my husband and I some skills for taking care of his emotional world. We now have a lively happy chilled out toddler who goes to sleep most nights really well (and never alone - we are always there with him until he falls asleep) and rarely cires out for us in the night (and when he does we get up for him to pat his back to sleep). We have a basic routine that we follow, that is flexible but steady. I credit this book in a big way with the confidence he has in our love and affection for him. Parenting is not meant to be an easy gig. But it can be full of love and patience and kindness.

Nov 10, 2010 6:39 AM

Guest :

I related to this article, as well as Michelle's comment clarifying her views. I am a new Dad of a six month old girl who we have been trying the "pick up/put down" method on for almost a week now to no avail. I agree that Tracy's advice would probably be just fine for babies who aren't "fussy". We aren't proponents of "crying it out", but I'd be willing to bet if we had been doing that for the past 6 days our daughter would be sleeping like a log right now. Tracy's idea of picking a child up when they're unable to soothe themselves and putting them down immediately when they have stopped crying has proven to be just as hard on our child as crying it out would be, albeit with us in the room with her. I also feel that for a child that has had trouble sleeping, this can actually encourage them to cry for her parents attention/contact, while discouraging them from settling. Just my two cents...

Nov 29, 2010 10:44 AM

Guest :

I wonder if the reviewer have children and have tried any of the advises that Tracy gives. I am a new mom of a 3 months old baby and I owe it to Tracy to have him sleeps through the night but more than that to understand his cues and therefore to better take care of him. I don't think that she is saying "stick to a schedule." In fact, my baby don't have a set schedule but based on the time of the day I can figure out whether he is hungry or tired. I don't rush to pick him up and I don't let him cry it out either, I'm there to give him the support he needs to fall asleep or to play on his own. Yes, he is only three months old and I don't expect him to do anything on his own. That's why I'm here for him! But it is great to see him able to just fall asleep as soon as he hears all those so familiar words that have become his routine and clues for "it's time to go to bed." I hope that other parents don't get discouraged to read the books and learn a few very important things from them because of this review. Believe me, you will be missing the most helpful information that you can have!!!!!

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